Should I stop wondering how long will it take me to recover from dystonia?
The most frequent question I get from people who contact me is always the same: “How long will it take me to recover from dystonia?” And it’s not a trivial question. Behind it often lies the anguish of someone whose most intimate connection with their instrument has been severed, the frustration of someone who feels their body no longer obeys them, that something essential has broken inside. However, perhaps we should go beyond that question and turn our gaze to something deeper: what role does our mind play in this process? What thoughts have we allowed to accompany us during so many years of practice, and perfectionism?
Perhaps we’ve never truly been aware of the sheer number of toxic thoughts whispered in our ear as we searched for the perfect note. That insistent little voice, that inner dialogue filled with impossible demands, judgments, and comparisons, has gradually shaped us, until we can no longer distinguish between our true voice and that constant echo of fear. Fear of failing while playing, fear of disappointing others, fear of judgment, fear of not being good enough. And when fear takes hold, it begins to govern our actions, our emotions, and ultimately, our lives.
The mind and time are inseparable. One cannot exist without the other. Think about it: for the mind to project its fears, it needs time. Psychological fear isn’t about a real danger happening right now, but about something that might happen in an imagined future. In other words, we don’t fear what is happening, but what we believe might happen. And the paradox is that this mental projection, this worry about an uncertain “tomorrow,” completely distances us from the only moment in which we can truly act: the present.
When we ask ourselves again and again, “How long will it take me to recover from focal dystonia?”, we are surrendering our energy to the future, to a mental dimension that exists only as a concept. Time, in reality, is an illusion, an abstraction created by our subjective experience. Meanwhile, we let slip the only thing that is real: the now. That fleeting instant that is the only proof of our existence.
We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when I recover from dystonia,” but it’s not just that. We live believing that we’ll be happy when we achieve certain material goals, recognition, or career success, and thus we become prisoners of time, of our own minds, and of an expectation that may never be fulfilled as we imagine it.
This attitude, which keeps us in a constant state of dissatisfaction, may even have contributed to the development of the disorder. And the strangest thing is that we then want to heal with the same mindset that brought us here. We want quick results, guarantees, certainty… when precisely the path to recovery requires letting go of control, learning to listen to the body, to be present. That’s why I always tell my students: we cannot emerge from this condition with the same attitude that brought us here. Recovery begins when we learn to cultivate conscious movement, and that requires a heightened state of presence, or in other words, a high degree of awareness.
Focal dystonia in musicians is a complex condition with multifactorial origins. Its etiology combines physical, neurological, and emotional elements. Poor ergonomics, lack of body awareness, absence of breaks between practice sessions, stress, anxiety, and sleep disorders are just some of the factors that can influence its onset and persistence. Therefore, an effective recovery program must address all these aspects from a holistic and multifaceted perspective: physical, proprioceptive, emotional, and mental work. There is no magic formula or universal timeline. Each process is unique and depends on dedication, consistency, and, above all, the level of presence with which we perform each exercise, each breath, each small step forward.
True change begins when we stop asking ourselves, “How long will it take me to recover from dystonia?” and start asking ourselves, “How much quality, mindful time have I dedicated to my recovery today?” At that moment, without realizing it, we have already begun to heal.
